Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
