Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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