College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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