Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
