He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
