she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
