dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
