I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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