Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
