i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
When did angry sex become our thing?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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