if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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