I wannas sexs uuuuu
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Welp...herpes.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
