Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Randomize
