i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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