we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
