So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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