explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize