Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
