She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize