why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
