Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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