I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
