i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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