He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Can you bring me the toilet please
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
