i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
