I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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