You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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