the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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