yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
