I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
