i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Green mimosas i think yes
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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