I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
