Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
