glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
