Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
