Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
