So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
