yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
