I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
