do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
