You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
