Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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