yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
