Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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