Is it normal to miss your booty call?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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