its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
