i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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