Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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