Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Randomize
