lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
