Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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