i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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