He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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