Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize