woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Acid is not a monday night drug
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
