Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
