Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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