It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
