Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Someone signed my nipple.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
