the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
