yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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