Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
