Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
