tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
