Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
