i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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