fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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